A friend told me about a site that lets you write a private journal/book/maifesto/whatever 750 words a day just to get in the habit of writing and having some kind of accountability. I'm going to take the 30 day challenge and try to write 750 words a day in December even though its 31 days. The site is called www.750Words.com. Today I wrote just to get a feel for it. If I'm going to be a writer or blogger, I need to start writing daily.
This is unedited. Quantity, not quality and the ramblings or a meandering mind.
Maybe I'll get more private as I go on.
Well, fuck a duck. I have committed to doing the inevitable doable task. Shall I just babble on, creating mindless dribble and hoping against hope for witty banter? See that hoping against hope thing? I was going to say hoping, but then I changed it to hoping against hope which added two more words and a little dramatic flair. At least I suppose its dramatic flair. It could just be I'm a fucking blowhard. Should I say fuck for fucks sake in these things? I'd imagine a good part of this ends up being fluff, filler, blah blah balhs of various description. blah blah balhs? No, blah blah blahs. Wow, typos are fun. Do they have proper Netiquette for journals? Do this, don't do that, where's your mother, little boy?
Nonsense, that wasn't a paragraph, it was a bunch of discombobulated bull shit. I don't even know what discombobulated means, but it sure is fun to say. I'll Google it later. I should get extra points for typos because the mother fuckers are a HUGE distraction and if I go back and fix them its likes typing six extra words. I'm happy as fuck this whole thing seems to be about quantity and not quality. It would be extra super groovy if , ah fuck, I forgot what I was going to say since I got focused on how extra super groovy the phrase extra super groovy was. I wonder if I'm the first sentient being to ever utter the term. Actually, I think I would have to say it out loud to have it actually qualify as an utterance.
Wow, 270 words already. My junk is as big as an eggplant! Every time I start to brag about how many words I wrote the total changes! Its like what is the mathematical formula for figuring out if I won a car and I had to pay forty percent of its value in taxes and the prize issuer wanted that to not come out of my pocket and was trying to figure out the cash bonus amount to go with the car and once he added that money I had to pay taxes on it too, so he had to add more and God Damn my ass hurts!
Half way there. Am I a better person for it? Do I feel more creative? Eloquent? Have I left the world a better place? Who kicked Nellie in the belly in the barn? I guess it should be who kicked Nelly in the belly in the barn? Does similar spelling make rymes better? I never could spell ryhme rhyme worth a fuck. Fucking rhymes. Holy smokes that word sucks. What are some that you have trouble with? Business used to tie my head in knots, but I think I got it now. Convieniance, shit, missed again, still does. Guard some times, friend is another. For some reason that i before e except after... after, after y except as in neighbor or weigh? Fuck. My brain is broken. I don't remember anymore.
So I'm trying to get the attention of these ladies on these stupid internet dating sites and its a bitch. I'm polite, clever, cute, funny, and respectable and they block me. I write them for the first time and tell them I am starting to have second thoughts about having their baby and they bomb the shit out of my message box. I like knowing from the git go if I have a compatible sense of humor with someone, but some of thee women are freaks what type of woman knits a uterus for fun and hugs dirt?
Less than a hundred and forty words to go. I want to smoke! And take a shower, and get my meds for the next four weeks together and make fun of my dog for being naked and in a cage. I think I'm going to start letting my typoos and mispellings stand as much as I can stand without automatically correcting them. Maybe they will add a rare and glorious character to my writing and we can finally shitcan fonics or is it phonics or all switch of to it once and fucking for all. Sorry, that was a cheap ignorant redneck use of the word fucking fuck, I just typed a t on accident and deleted it. I'm robbing my writing of its character! Sorry, back to fucking, what was I sayiong? Sayiong, what a fucking idiot I am. Ha smoke time!