I Hate Free Internet Dating!

So my wife decided she was unhappy and wanted to separate so she moved one place and I moved to another. I'm lonely, a bit adrift, and I really miss having companionship and single friends, so I joined a couple of free dating services, okcupid.com and datehookup.com. What nightmares! A few very interesting ladies on each, but for the most part its like the People of Walmart trying to get laid! I don't want to date women who look like they ate their last three husbands or call Methusala's mother "Dearie". I'm not looking for another child, or a sugar mama. Just someone fun to hang out and do stuff with to enjoy talks, and walks, and books. I don't want anyone to save my soul or spank my butt!

I think I'm going to need another dog!

Here is my profile from one.

ignosticrock

Location: Boiling Springs, South Carolina
Age: 48,
Taurus
Height: 5 ft. 10 in.
Hair, Bald
Eyes: Green
Body: A few extra pounds (No option for fluffy, stout, roundboy, or bigger than a bread basket!)
Ethnicity: White
Religion: Atheist
Politics: Moderate (No Libertarian option)
Education: Some College
Income: Didn't Say
Job: Artist
Smoke: Smoke Regularly
Has Kids: Yes, living with me sometimes
About Me: I have been a soldier, sailor, police officer, tattoo artist, body piercer, cab driver, steelworker, salesman, and more than a few other things. I currently do web design and graphic design.

Seeking: A woman ages 23 to 48

I am a kind, gentle, patient, strong, creative, faithful, and funny man. I am fiercely loyal to my friends and family, but also have a strong belief in personal accountability. I have the heart of a warrior and the body of an old warrior! I find some truth in Tim McGraw's song that says, "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was!"

Creativity, intelligence, honesty, integrity, decency, dependability, loyalty, open mindedness, erudition, witty banter, independence, and a great sense of humor are what I look for most in friends. I think one's significant other should be a friend before anything else. I want friendship first. Good relationships evolve, they aren't forced.

I am an Ignostic agnostic atheist. I have no desire to attempt to deconvert anyone or be converted. I am not militant, but do not like proselytizing. I have spent many years studying various religions and philosophies, rather than just accepting the convenient ones as truth.

I am very much a Libertarian both economically and philosophically. I detest politics, but pay attention to them and watch the winds of change. If you are a diehard Liberal, you probably won't care for many of my opinions. Diehard Conservatives probably won't fare a whole lot better.

Recently separated (and okay with it), raising my sixteen year old daughter, doing graphic design and web design, reading a lot, playing volleyball two nights a week, active on several forums, missing my former dogs, practicing self reliance and preparedness, and hoping to make single friends and maybe meet an honest, intelligent, creative, open, kind, and faithful lady. Working on bettering my health while dealing with some chronic issues.

You live in or near upstate South Carolina, like going out and doing things as well as sitting at home.

I hate dating. I like having real people in my life, not endless auditions and conquests. I don't like trying to force things either. For most folks dating is a means to one end or another. Its almost a curse at times when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex.


I want to see you for who you are, not necessarily for what voids you might fill in my life. If I can do that, and make honest self assessments, then my investment is in the now and I am living fully. I'm not looking for or offering physical perfection, far from it. I want a friend to share life with. Have you ever seen the Pixar movie "Up"? If you have, you'll know what I mean (No, I'm not talking about Doug!).


A spirit of adventure is required. I haven't lived this long to wait to lay down and die. I still like trying new things and going to new places.

Creativity, intelligence, honesty, integrity, decency, dependability, loyalty, open mindedness, erudition, witty banter, independence, and a great sense of humor are what I look for most in friends. I think one's significant other should be a friend before anything else.

I like nice things, but don't consider myself materialistic. I have little use for vain, superficial, or plastic people.

I like kids, but do not want any more of my own. Having kids is not a deal breaker. Your children are their own people. If they do not like me or I don't care for them, that should be a deal breaker for you.

I strongly prefer petite, slim, athletic, or average build women. I don't really like any facial or oral piercings. Please understand, I know I am not perfect, but I also know my preferences.

Local is best for everyone whether we become friends or something different.

Ladies, if you have read this far, Thank you. Do yourselves a favor: Be honest about your weight, smoking, kids etc. Use current photos. Guys aren't blind. We can tell if you are a hundred pounds overweight and that is not "a few extra pounds". Often the dishonesty is a far greater turn off than the weight. I'm not as petite or pretty naked as I was when I was twenty. Now the hard work comes in and I have to have a decent personality! Save everyone heartbreak, expense, and frustration and be honest. It'll pay off if you are patient!

Without wanting to sound arrogant, there are some horrible profiles and pictures on here! Some look like they were ripped off of People of Walmart! Smile in your pictures. Put some clothes on. Don't stand in a bathroom or messy room for your pictures. If you're a BBW, show it with dignity, posture and attitude can help a lot. Don't post old pictures or pictures with the sides of your face or arms cropped out (It actually usually makes you look bigger than your really are!). No hair caves or hamster suits!

As sad as it is, this is basic marketing. If you don't care enough to make a good presentation, it will be on you, not all of the people who pass you by.

You deserve to be happy, get out of your own way and shine!

The Color Code of Mental Awareness

The book, Principles of Personal Defense by Jeff Cooper is near the top of my list of recommended reading for anyone who doesn't want to be a victim.

Here is a great video about one part:



And here is a fantastic excerpt:

The Color Code of Mental Awareness


By Lt. Col Jeff Cooper
USMC, Retired

CONDITION WHITE

White is the lowest level on the escalator. In Condition White one is unaware, not alert, oblivious. This state can be characterized as "daydreaming" or "preoccupied". People in White tend to walk around with their heads down, as if watching their own feet. They do not notice the impending danger until it literally has them by the throat.

You see examples of this frequently. When was the last time you saw someone in traffic roll right up to a barricade or stalled vehicle, then expect you to stop and let them into your lane? They're operating their vehicle in Condition White. When a motorist runs over a motorcyclist and kills him, what are the first words out of their mouth? "I didn't see him." They're not lying. They were so inattentive and complacent that they did not notice a 200-pound man on a four hundred pound machine right in front of them. When this same guy runs past a stop sign and broadsides your car, killing your child, he will say, "I didn't see it."

These same guys will be the victims of violent crime, because the criminal targets the inattentive, the complacent, the lazy, the distracted, the preoccupied. Why? Because the criminal wants to get to him, get what he wants from him, and get away from him, without being hurt or caught. Who would be the easiest person to do that to? Someone in Condition White.

QUESTION: When would it be acceptable to be in Condition White?

ANSWER: When in your own home, with the doors locked, the alarm system on, and your dog at your feet. Then, you can turn off your mind, if you wish, because you have sufficient layers of protection and warning to enable you to get up, get your gear, and get your head running. If you leave your home, you leave Condition White behind.

CONDITION YELLOW

This is a relaxed state of general alertness, with no specific focal point. You are not looking for anything or anyone in particular; you simply have your head up and your eyes open. You are alert and aware of your surroundings. You are difficult to surprise, therefore, you are difficult to harm. You do not expect to be attacked today. You simply recognize the possibility.

EXAMPLE: You are on a small naval patrol vessel in the middle of the Mediterranean. You are not at war with anyone today, so you do not expect to be attacked. You do, however, recognize the possibility, so you have your radar on twenty-four hours a day, making a continuous 360 degree sweep of the area, looking for potential problems. Suddenly, there is a blip on your radar screen. You cannot tell by looking at the small, greenish-yellow dot on the screen whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, so you ask a fighter plane to intercept the blip and check it out. If it is an Al Italia airliner a hundred miles off course, the fighter pilot will wave at it. If it's a Libyan MIG headed toward your boat, he will shoot it down. He won't know whether to wave or shoot until he first assesses the blip as a threat. This is exactly the same process you go through on the ground. When you leave home you turn on your radar, and it continually sweeps the area around you for potential hazards. When something catches your attention, you assess it. If it's not a threat, dismiss it. If it is a threat, start getting ready mentally to deal with it.

Anything or anyone in your immediate vicinity that is unusual, out of place, or out of context, should be viewed as potentially dangerous, until you have had a chance to assess it. Someone who looks out of place, or someone engaged in activity that has no obvious legitimate purpose, should be looked over carefully. When your mental radar picks up on a blip, you immediately escalate one level on the scale, to Condition Orange.

CONDITION ORANGE

This is a heightened state of alertness, with a specific focal point. The entire difference between Yellow and Orange is this specific target for your attention. Your focal point is the person who is doing whatever drew your attention to him. It might be the fact that he is wearing a field jacket in August. It might be that he's standing by a column in the parking garage, instead of going into the building, or getting in a car and leaving. It might be that you have been in five stores at the mall, and saw this same guy in every one of them. His actions have caused you to take note of him, so you must assess him as a potential threat, just as the fighter pilot assessed the blip earlier.

How do you assess someone as a threat? You have to take into account the totality of the cues available to you. His clothing, appearance, demeanor, actions, anything he says to you, are all cues. The single most important cue is body language. About 80% of human communication is through body language. Predators display subtle pre-aggression indicators, which are obvious once you learn to look for them.

When you shift upward to Orange, you begin to focus your attention on this individual that caught your eye, but do not drop your general over-view. You don't want to be blind-sided by his associates. You begin to watch him and assess his intentions, again looking at all of the cues available to you. Nine times out of ten, after a few seconds of observation, you will be able to see an innocuous reason for his behavior and then dismiss him. Once you figure out he's not a threat, dismiss him and de-escalate right back down to Yellow. NINE OUT OF TEN... Who is TEN? He is the predator, who would have got you if you had been inattentive. Now that you are aware of him, you are in far less danger.

As you assess this individual, and you see things that convince you he has evil intent, you start to play the "What if…." game in your mind, to begin formulating a basic plan. This is how we get ahead of the power curve. If he acts suddenly, we must have at least a rudimentary plan for dealing with him already in place, so that we can react swiftly enough. By saying to yourself, "That guy looks like he is about to stick me up, what am I going to do about it?", you begin the mental preparation vital to winning the conflict. With even a simple plan already in place, your physical reaction is both assured and immediate, if the bad guy presses his intentions. If, after assessing him, you believe he is an actual threat, you then escalate to the highest level, Condition Red.

CONDITION RED

In Red, you are ready to fight! You may not actually be fighting, but you are MENTALLY PREPARED to fight. In many, or perhaps even most, circumstances where you have gone fully to Red, you will not actually physically do anything at all. The entire process of escalating from Yellow, to Orange, to Red, then de-escalating right back down the scale as the situation is resolved, occurs without any actual physical activity on your part. The key is that you were mentally prepared for a conflict, and thus could physically act if the situation demanded.

CONDITION BLACK

The fight is on. Your outcome will depend upon your preparation. Muscle & mental memory from training is recalled. You will fight how you trained.


Thanks to the folks at OpsGear for putting the Video and Excerpt together!

Emergency Preparedness

Emergency Preparedness
©2012 Rock Cowles

Emergency Preparation is not about living in fear, TEOTWAWKI (The End Of The World As We Know It), or even Armageddon. Its about better safe than sorry. Its hoping for the best and planning for the worst, not getting caught with your pants down or your kilt up.

Most sensible people who can afford it have home, health, life, and auto insurance. They keep a spare tire, jack, jumper cables, a small tool kit, flares, and maybe a can of Fix-A-Flat in their vehicles and spare cash in their wallets. They go to the gym and work out and try to eat healthy foods. They have shutters on their windows, emergency brakes in their cars, and savings accounts. Are they paranoid or bowing down to the Fearmongers? No, they are being prepared, just in case, because shit does happen.

Preparation is optimizing our chances to have man-made or natural short term or long term disasters or emergencies cause as little disruption to our lives as possible and minimizing threats to home, life, or limb as possible.

It also offers the joy and peace of mind of attaining as much self-reliance as possible.

Inalienable, My Ass

Inalienable, My Ass
©2012 Rock Cowles

I don't believe in natural rights or inalienable rights. I think they are desperate philosophical fantasies, much like Heaven and the altruistic Old Man in the Sky waiting to bring us home and grant our every wish.

If we had Natural Rights, wouldn't we all look like perfect clones sharing all of the same natural attributes like athleticism, fitness, intelligence, health, beauty, penis size, height, high metabolisms, and heart shaped fannies for the ladies? Pipe dreams for the Welfare State.

I do believe in bullies, self defense, and that the best defense is often a good offense. No being under siege here. Banding together against predators and oppressors is healthier than anarchy, until we start having bands so large that we are governed by distant strangers.

Being taught to believe that we have inalienable rights since childhood, even though its obvious we don't, makes us far less likely to be concerned with losing them. Consider the slave state we subject the vast majority of our children to. They are indoctrinated into government approved rhetoric and propaganda, with no say in the matter, shuffled around in tiny groups with other age segregated participants, all of their First and Second Amendment Rights are stripped from them before they ever learn to exercise them, because they need to be assimilated. If they are independent, disruptive, or truant, they are a threat to keeping the machine running smoothly and quietly. When are students allowed to disagree strongly and vocally with arrogant, overbearing, or aggressive teachers? Do the teachers show them the same respect they demand? Hell no!

Defending oneself from a schoolyard bully and winning handily is worse than starting the fight. Using equalizers like edged, electronic, chemical, or impact weapons makes it criminal. If a ten year old brings brass knuckles to school and breaks a bully's nose, he was looking for a fight and wanted to hurt someone, rather than being tired of being punched, kicked, spit on, wedgied, swirlied, pantsed, robbed, humiliated, and terrorized since starting his education.

The only rights we have are those we refuse to give away or allow to be taken from us. Many of us old timers bitch about the Attitude of Entitlement so much of Today's Youth have, but we share it at a Constitutional level. There is no evidence that any of our "rights" are inalienable, but we all think they are ours and that the someone, somewhere, will protect them for us. Its pure wishful thinking to believe that Big Brother is looking out for anyone's interest but its own.

You get a little free speech so you think someone is listening. You get your Second Amendment pistols and rifles (barely), while Uncle Sam gets all the military with all of their tanks, missiles, intelligence gathering, chemical weapons, and nukes as well as control over communications, transportation, taxes, etc.

Darwinism is not about survival of the fittest, it is about survival of the most adaptable. Being able to honestly assess your individual strengths and weaknesses, as well as your environment, and identifying potential threats, and being able to act boldly on those assessments and observations is what allows us to survive and maintain any rights. Not Nature. Not government.

Debating your so called "rights" is akin to polishing a dog turd. Defending them, by whatever means necessary, is a whole different animal.

Whose got your back?

Prepper Scouts

Prepper Scouts

I've sometimes wished that I could travel back in time and instead of getting kicked out of the Cub Scouts stayed through Eagle Scout. I think the Eagle Scouts develop character as well as skills. The Boy Scout motto, "Be Prepared" is the soul of every true Prepper.

Today, my brainfart gained a little clarity. Until one is dead, its just too early to give up on anything, including one's dreams. I think that now more than ever many Americans are realizing their lack of preparedness and skills. There are many who have never been around firearms, hunted, camped, fished, hiked, cleaned game, handled livestock, grown a garden, cooked over a campfire, learned first aid, repaired a torn garment, sailed a boat, or ever developed any outdoor skills, no less became a competent outdoorsman or woman.

I think a lot of us suffer from ennui and learning a set of scouting/preparedness skills as adults would be great fun and as well as developing potentially lifesaving tools. I was a much better student as an adult when I went back to college than I ever was in high school. I think wanting to learn makes it so much easier.

I've been a police officer, a soldier, and a sailor, yet realize I still lack many of the skills learned by an Eagle Scout or even a Boy Scout!

I think there is a definte market and need for a group for adults or families to learn these skills. My concept is Prepper Scouts (PrepperScouts.org). It would be based on Boy Scout and Girl Scout skills and Emergency Preparedness, but Co-ed and geared towards either adults or entire families. Initially, it could be lead by Eagle Scouts and Den Masters.

I would appreciate any and all feedback, especially from folks with a scouting background.

Thanks,

Rock
PreparationMForum.com

Just For Today

Just For Today!

1. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals.

2. Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.

3. Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.

4. Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

5. Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways; I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to do as William James suggests, just for exercise.

6. Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.

7. Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

8. Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurry and indecision.

9. Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. In this half hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.

10. Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.

If we want to develop a mental attitude that will bring us peace and happiness, here is Rule #1:
Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

Written by Sybyl F Partridge in 1916

Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?

I think as bright people, there is somewhat of a universal expectation that we will always be right, and we somewhat expect it of ourselves and get frustrated when we are wrong. A lot of the time you are only right until you have more information! I had a counselor ask me once if I would rather be right or be happy? Intellectually, being happy seems more important, but emotionally, I often responded to situations, whether induced by others or myself, doing my utmost to be right, often at any cost.

Its very liberating to be able to say, "I don't know." Perhaps even more so to realize I often don't even need to know, even a little bit. I am not autonomous and never will be, despite my struggles to be as self reliant as possible.

Some great books with many great tools;

Who Moved my Cheese? by Spencer Johnson

Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer

Pulling Your Own Strings by Wayne Dyer

Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins

A New Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis

Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

I'm Ok, You're Ok by Thomas A. Harris

A New Pair of Glasses by Chuck "C" (Chamberlain)

The Buddha Walks into a Bar: A Guide to Life for a New Generation by Lodro Rinzler

Only YOU can empower yourself!

I hope you find something you can use and to hear from you soon.

Dave "Rock" Cowles